Abandonment and the Holiday Season
“How do I survive the holiday alone?” is a question we ask ourselves as the season approaches.
Many people must face the holiday season alone, bereft of that special someone. As we approach the holiday season and are faced head-on with the familiarity of holiday music, Christmas lights, seasonal flavors, and, best or worst of all, family, our memories will most definitely begin to surface.
Returning home for the holidays may trigger feelings of uncertainty or even grief if you are returning alone.
Many folks who are still feeling the heat of a break-up or the intensity of another kind of loss tend to relive their abandonment trauma at this time of year.
This blog is intended to serve as a reminder to embrace your whole self, including your sadness. Please be gentle with yourself and don’t try to push your feelings away. Imagine the loss that you are grieving as a wound and tend it with loving care. Share your feelings if talking helps.
Is there an abandonment support group in your area? They can be a saving grace at this time of year. Don’t underestimate the power of New Year’s resolutions! What are your goals? What are some steps you can take toward reaching your worthy goals? Imagine yourself exactly where you want to be next holiday season. How did you get there? Write a letter to your present self with explicit instructions!
I urge you to make new friends and reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with. Celebrate the present moment with them. If it is hard to be fully present with yourself during periods of intense longing this holiday season, practice by demonstrating a genuine interest in your friends and family. Empathize with their lives. Make them feel their special importance in your life. You are worthy of the same empathy and love.
Trust that your journey from abandonment to healing will result in restoring a new sense of self with increased energy and new and expanding love. I do! Just stay the course. Do the work. Do not give up.
You may also read my books or attend one of my online workshops to learn more about healing.
PS: I have created a series of videos that take you step-by-step through the 5 Akēru exercises and other life-changing insights of the Abandonment Recovery Program.
Whether you’re experiencing a recent break-up, a lingering wound from childhood, or struggling to form a lasting relationship, the program will enlighten you, restore your sense of self, and increase your capacity for love and connection.